A Few Thoughts on Boxes, Blackness, and Belonging

Hi friends,

In the midst of so much shift and change in our nation, in our world and possibly in your own world, I do hope this message finds you well. As conversations surrounding our upcoming presidential election are ramping up, I have been thinking a bit about how expansive our identities can be, yet how stringent our expectations of race, ethnicity, and gender often are in real time. Recently at a convening of Black journalists, a presidential nominee commented on current Vice President and presidential hopeful Kamala Harris’s racial and ethnic identity. This presidential candidate falsely claimed that Harris only emphasizes her Asian-American heritage and has “turned Black” in recent years solely for political gain. He raised a question of whether she was in fact “Indian or Black” resembling the birtherism attacks on the first black president Barack Obama and the accusation of using the “woman card” posed against the first female nominee of a major political party, Hilary Clinton. While I do not use this platform to endorse any political candidate, I do think the moment we are in calls for those who support the work of the Center to reflect on the ways in which women, Black and Indigenous people of color, and sexual minorities are often attacked when assuming positions of leadership not on the ethics of their work or the content of their character but on the validity of their identities in the eyes and hearts of those who can only ascribe to the validity and believed superiority of whiteness. As it has happened on the national stage, it also happens in many of our board rooms, courtrooms and classrooms. Many who lead while holding multiple identities that exist outside the norm are often expected to check one box, choose one struggle, or  belong to one community. They are expected to lift up one aspect of who they are at the expense of another, and when they refuse to do so, they risk the accusation of pandering to the marginalized for political and social gain. 

With these conversations circulating it seemed  very timely to gather for the 15th Annual Commemoration to honor the life and legacy of the Rev. Dr. Pauli Murray at St. Titus Episcopal Church in Durham. This annual service in Durham is sponsored by The Episcopal Church and the Pauli Murray Center, a program our executive director has served since its inception.  As we gathered together to commemorate the anniversary of their death and to honor their status of sainthood in the Episcopal Church, I could not help but be struck by the varying identities that were present in the room and how each us in our own particularities were present as a collective because there was some aspect of Pauli’s rich legacy to  which we felt connected. Some choose to honor Pauli’s legal legacy. Some connect deeply with Pauli’s spiritual life. Others find deep connections with Pauli’s racial justice work and fight for gender equality. Yet still there are emerging generations that are connected to Pauli’s perceived queerness and gender nonconformity. Yet as we gathered  that evening, I believe we were cognizant of the beauty of  honoring Pauli Murray’s legacy is to know that the aspects of a person’s life we feel more connected to or comfortable with should never erase the totality of who they knew themselves to be. I wondered if this realization would even be possible if Pauli had leaned into the pressure to live within  one category of being instead of maneuvering the world in the fullness of who God made Pauli Murray  to be.  

For my devotional time, I have been reading the words of black clergywomen and femmes, one being Rev. Dr. Pauli. In reading their words, I believe one quote bears witness for us in this particular season. In their family memoir Pauli states, “It has taken me a lifetime to discover that true emancipation lies in the acceptance of the whole past, in deriving strength from all my roots, in facing up to the degradation as well as the dignity of my ancestors.”  When I struggle to find the courage to be me, this quote reminds me of the deep freedom Pauli Murray possessed because they refused to compartmentalize who they were for people who could only understand identity as monolithic. Truthfully for people who believe that there is only one way to be black, to be Indian or to be a woman, you will never be black enough, Indian enough, or female enough for them. 

I have been in the process of moving lately from one neighborhood in Durham to another and moving requires lots and lots of boxes. As I have spent an unbelievable amount of time packing boxes, the one thing I have thought about is how great boxes are for holding our stuff but how ill equipped they are for holding our stories. As we move through what will continue to be a contentious presidential season, may we not box communities into the limitations of our biases, but may we allow people to live into the expansiveness of their being in ways that honor the common humanity of us all .