Full Circle

Editor’s note: Rachel Sauls began her time with RCWMS in January 2020, moments before the pandemic began. Instead of her planned one semester with us, she continued through a gap year, then kept on working for RCWMS during her time at divinity school. It was our great blessing to have her as part of our team!

When I began an Anita McLeod Internship at the Resource Center for Women and Ministry in the South in January of 2020, I felt a pressing compulsion within the first couple of weeks to confess to Jeanette and a few other folks that I am not, in fact, an artist. Newly surrounded by folks who seem to brim over with creativity, ideas, and passion, I wanted to be sure to name that I was art-adjacent at best.

I do have a distinct memory of my proudest artistic achievement, though. As a first grader, I finger painted Chrysanthemum, a young mouse with a long name who starred in my favorite children’s book. I remember the delight of the goopy paint coating my fingernails and the thrill of seeing Chrysanthemum’s mousy features appearing on the paper canvas in front of me. I felt ridiculously proud of the process and the product. I pictured myself wearing a beret and presenting the piece to my parents. My artistic peak, at the young age of six.

Folks at the Resource Center did not seem to put much stock in my confession of art-less-ness. In hindsight, I suspect they knew that I would grow out of this particular perception of myself with time and exposure, not with any forced Crayola encounters.

And sure enough, that shift happened softly, with clear boosts from the RCWMS Artists in Residence along the way. I delighted in serving as the technical host for a few of environmental artist Bryant Holsenbeck’s sculpture-making workshops. I told myself I was only there to manage the Zoom, yet found my eyes scanning my room for little things I could cobble together to shape a creature. In January 2022, when painter Sue Sneddon died, I felt profound gratitude for the opportunity to help digitally organize some of her sketches and paintings. Gazing at her North Carolina seascapes feels like being whisked to a home I didn’t know existed.

Then I had the privilege of working on a pattern project for quilter Kimberley Pierce Cartwright, whose quilts tell stories, challenge norms, and prompt imagination. I wanted every conversation with her to last longer. This year the Resource Center has given me the gift of brainstorming sessions with our current Artist in Residence, photographer MJ Sharp, whose explorations of darkness and night invigorate me to look up at the stars. I leave each of our meetings resolved to be more like her.

In July my time with the Resource Center will come to a close. When I began here I was an undergraduate senior at UNC-Chapel Hill. Last month I graduated with a Master of Divinity from Yale. This already very formative time in my life has been so beautifully enhanced by work with RCWMS, and I hope I’ve been able to offer a gift or two in return.

In August I will begin a year-long chaplaincy residency at a children’s hospital in California. When I first told my loved ones that I was eagerly accepting this position working with children, I found myself saying something that surprised me, something that I am certain reflects my time at the Resource Center: I hope there will be finger painting!

When I started at RCWMS, I thought that the internship would be a good fit for a student planning to go to divinity school and become a chaplain; it seemed like a sound professional match. I didn’t know it would also be a perfect fit for the first grader who painted Chrysanthemum, who had no hesitation considering herself an artist. To all of you who have made my time here so spectacular, I offer you my most sincere gratitude. May our paths continue to cross. And when they do, may there be finger painting.